film and camera info below
My ideal camera is my eye. If you could see what I see without the presence of a camera, without the obvious experience of A CAMERA IS HERE NOW…if I could get in there and blink and capture it.
This waist-finder Rolleiflex is the opposite of my ideal in a lot of ways. And that opposition is what makes it a near-ideal eye. The whole thing, the disorientation of it, the very limited frames, the process and pleasure of it offers a particular sensitive slow vibe- slow enough that the experience of creating with it absorbs all the WE ARE TAKING PHOTOS energy allowing the person I’m photographing to forget that their having a portrait made and coaxing me to let go of what I thought I was going to make and instead make what I see in the moment. It’s pretty hot, deliberate, and sensual.
And also the Rolleiflex can be a pain in the ass of immediacy/fluidity. Yeah yeah not for everyone. Jon Canlas shoots this like a goddamned disposable camera in the 90s. But for me, its confounding nuances are a kind of entity that sets me on edge in flow with an obvious presence whispering through the scene as I fumble, grapple, focus, and coax its bassakward screen to get my composition right. And it says,
“I AM A CAMERA I SEE THIS I SEE YOU YOU ARE ALIVE.”
Or something like that.
And it is for all these complex reasons that on this day I was kinda over the limitations, the heft, the demands this camera makes. I was being spoiled and bored…
So I moved through it. Devoting an hour to boredom, to my very good hair day, the new silver ho-hoops, the red of my sweater, the texture of the Christmas tablecloth (which Matthew held behind me), the southern winter light bouncing off the mirrors in my living room bringing beauty to the cold, Nag Champa smoke and mirror streaks I found myself kind moved, like into it, reminded, no longer bored, smiling at my self through this camera comrade of mine.
(god this wrapped up kinda cheese. forgive)
Film notes:
Film- Kodak Gold 200
Camera- Rolleiflex 6001 Professional with 80 mm lens
Film rating & development notes- Box rated the film, set my light meter to ISO 200 and “push” the film 1 stop in developing (+1)
Scanning notes- I recently switch from the Noritsu to the Frontier scanner. I scanned w the Noritsu bc Jon said so and ya gotta start somewhere. But after nearly 100 rolls scanned I read THIS article, tested a roll and I was like, ‘Da fuck? Frontier gets me straight there with very very little editing.” Slam dunk. The more you know. Also I can get borders scanned which is 1- a fun THIS IS FILM cutie thing that’s like a $.50 surcharge and 2- more pressure in the process to get my compositions right which with a Rollei is like juggling swords vibes. Developing and Scanning Standard Scans at The Find Lab