It was 7:15 in the high light of mid summer; sun still not up and over the mountains. I kept my distance, while Milan stood in the little orchard. We shouted our “good morning” but as I got a little closer she said,
“I’m so angry right now.”
I’d sent a voice note the day before. Something like,
“Hey, the you that scheduled this session and the you that will show up tomorrow might be different versions. Same for me…all kinds of shit goes down. Let’s photograph what shows up tomorrow morning…”
A huge part of me was like, “Should I set the camera down?” sit with her and listen in the anger, but we were there to make portraits with whatever came up. I asked if she wanted me to wait a bit. No- keep going she said.
The feelings were full and alive as she talked and vented and gestured.
To be in or document a person in the experience of what’s actually happening? I wouldn’t have blamed Milan if she cancelled citing rage sickness or “not feeling it”. But she didn’t. So I didn’t.
By the end of our half hour session the sun had come up and we were laughing and talking of lighter things. And we make portraits with that, too.
FILM NOTES: To see more examples of hits and misses shooting with Ilford’s Delta 3200 film click through my “Expired Delta 3200” tag below.
MEDIUM FORMAT FILM STOCKS: Expired Ilford Delta 3200 film rated at 1000 ISO & Kodak Gold 200
CAMERA: Pentax 645n with 75 mm lens
DEVELOPMENT & SCANNING: The Find Lab