THOUGHTS // Collaborative Portraiture

I don’t know where she gathered the strength and bravery to stand for this portrait, but I suspect it came from the same place that brought me reverence in making it.

This is collaborative portraiture.

This is femininity embodied, in one of the myriad ways it takes shape as exploration.

This is a peek into the world of this mother.

This is a phase, a phrase, a holy blip of a consequential ritual with tethers that bind us from ancestor to far-flung successors.

Thank you Stephanie for letting me see and share.

Note: that tiny anything-but-a-let-down bead of let-down milk.

Photo of Stephanie Hawkes. Find Stephanie HERE

M O T H E R // Carol

“It came at a time where we knew it was the end of her life. I knew I wanted it documented even though it was such a painful time. In and out of knowing what was going on in her life, she had stopped constantly only showing happiness. It was sad. Leaving this world is just as hard, messy, and painful as it is coming in.”- Meikel remembering her grandmother. This photograph was taken just a few days before her death.

S E E N // Usha

“She makes me happy. I see a kind, strong woman but behind her layers complicated, intelligent. You captured her grace and love. I look at this picture and see a regular human but with wisdom behind her eyes. You wouldn’t know it but she stood in the Oval Office many times. She met world leaders and conversed with some of the most powerful people in history countless times yet she still appears approachable.”- Neena honoring her Grandmother Usha.

S E E N // Amanda

What do I see? 

I see strength. I see confidence. I see weathered, dry hands that are physical evidence of hard work. I see arms that are small but mighty. I see lovely, wind blown locks. I see a woman standing tall, feeling proud.

Who is she? 

She is a woman who was built with a strong foundation and support system. She is a woman that is willing to take some risks, but not all; who is proud, yet humble. I see a woman who thrives when working hard and creating. She is a woman who cares a little less about what other people think than she did years ago, and is content. Grateful. And happy.- Amanda Green

4/20
Portraits of Mother by Ashley Thalman
7 Sessions Available
Email for Details

S E E N // Vanessa

M O T H E R

“I see a woman determined to do the inner work necessary to heal from the betrayal of a religion she once would have died for. I see a woman consciously healing from the betrayal of a partner she thought would stand by her in good and bad times. I see a woman who was just beginning to realize the ultimate betrayal was to herself – being so wrapped up into the labels of wife and mother that she forgot who she was.

I see a woman willing to fight for safety, both for herself and her children, not knowing if that meant a new home 500 miles away in the familiarity of Arizona desert. I see a woman who was prepared to raise four kids on her own - shifting into a new co-parenting paradigm.

I see a woman who believed in magic. A woman who watched the 2017 solar eclipse in totality, with her children at her side, believing magic would come. And it did come. In the form of a good, gentle man with a kind heart and willing hands who physically built back the pieces of a broken, abandoned home.

I see a woman who worshiped Mt. Timpanogos from the view of her new kitchen, standing at the countertops she stained herself. It was a beacon of hope every golden hour watching the brilliant colors glow on the peak. 

I see a woman who held and touched pain, who gave space to sorrow. I see a woman who was determined to rise above the valley of pain.

I see a woman who rose up from the ashes of what once was, transformed into a new radiant being. I see a woman who learned her value, self-worth, and identity are not determined by any religion, person, or labels. I see myself as whole. I see myself as good. I see myself as enough.

Now, it’s probably too long, but I wrote what I needed to.”- Vanessa Adams Kerr

4/20
Portraits of Mother by Ashley Thalman
9 Sessions Available
Email for Details

S E E N // Maddie

M O T H E R

”As I left the hospital with empty arms and a hole in my heart that was the exact shape of his body, I couldn’t help but once again, feel helpless:  Who in the fuck was going to rescue me from this? From burying this child that had my eyes and my nose and that I never got the chance to know?

Having braved the journey through that grief, I know now that the answers to this question wouldn't be found in another book. It wouldn't be found in another class, or another person.

I know now that where I really needed to begin, where we always need to begin, is sitting on the floor, with our eyes closed. That the first step I had to take, the first step anyone must take, is inward".” - Maddie Beeton 

4/20
Portraits of Mother by Ashley Thalman
10 Sessions Available
Email for Details

THOUGHTS // I'll Be Damned

My daughter took this photo of me at Andi Pitcher’s cabin. No bra, lounging around, yesterday’s makeup, wild hair. It was a lazy morning, the kind that I’ve given myself permission to have. The sun was so warm there. Dotter raised the camera and I had a choice to make. I could have silently protested the portrait by letting her take it overexposed or by shewing her away, “Not until I’m dressed” or “No, let me take some of you.” But I didn’t, I set her exposure and let her see me.

My daughter is 10, the age so many of us began to pull at our skin, to notice lines in the abdomen when twisting, the way thighs pucker, the way we didn’t measure “right”. We inherited this from the work not done before us and I’ll be damned. I’ll be damned to be another woman pulling at puckers and hating my body, demonstrating this for my children and friends. I will not pass this on. I will let her take the photo and I will take hers, and yours, and again and again.