1/11/2019- Weekly Braindump and Review

Art and Community-

I posed for a figure drawing class at Simple Life Studio . It was a life wish and the circumstances were perfect. Maybe at some point I’ll share the photos I snagged of the beautiful sketches, each different in their lines, interpretations, and perspectives. I left with tremendous respect for the ancient act of sitting, being seen, seeing, showing up and sharing the gift of representation through art. And for women in art who work to know the world in little glimpses that sketch purpose and beauty.


Good Life Project with Samin Nosrat


-At 10 years you begin to know what you are doing. This is so real. The last few months have really clarified my work for me.

-If we throw ourselves entirely and unabashedly into a projects and passions then we won’t have ourselves to regret or blame, regardless of the outcomes of that effort. The work, and our unique vision of that work matters and communicates something singular.

Super Soul Sunday with Glennon Doyle


- The feeling of deep knowing only reveals the next step, not the 10 year plan that will become from taking that next step.

-I found this to be particularly striking as a reflection of what it means to be a human, specifically a woman, “I’ve felt split in two my entire life. There is the part of me on the outside that is saying the things that I am supposed be say, like, ‘I’m fine’. And then there is the part of me on the inside that is scared and lonely….We are all truth tellers…and it is very hard to hear the truth from a woman…and since negative emotions are less acceptable for a woman, we end up sometimes telling our truth in different ways than words, sometimes dangerous ways. Everyone tells the truth with something…which is why it is so powerful when you can integrate those two selves and tell the story of what’s going on on the inside with your words.”

- “Everyone is afraid of their pain but what we should be afraid of is the easy button- that is where suffering comes in. Pain is mandatory, it is what teaches us. Suffering is optional.”


Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown Episode of Newfoundland. Bourdain’s contributions were great and he was such a perfect heart-filled asshole, I am so glad we have so much content from his voice and vision of the world. As for the episode, it is filled with forest and intention that communicated such a beautiful culinary and cultural story of Newfoundland. Images of rustic surfaces studded with crystal glass, wine chilled in rivers- it was dripping with naturalist romance made only the more contrasted by the Motley Crew telling the story. Something achingly nostalgic and ancestral was spoken about self-reliance and a connection between what we are and what we eat and how that sacred process of taking into our bodies something that has its own distinct form happens.

There have been many times in the last year, since moving to a low-income, working-class neighborhood that I have realized how reliant we are and, therefore, how wrong we have “it'“. It being living, and feeling connected and satisfied. How close we are to ruin and hunger, being as entirely reliant on trucking, highways, and low wage farming, water as we are. It felt right to see the rejuvenating cod in the cold ink water after learning about the destruction of those waters by heavy nets that dragged the ocean (I cringe at the untold bycatch) enacting a moratorium on the cultural of cod.

Ultraviolet Progress-

Negotiated a new floor for the studio, this time polyurethane. We are delayed and that occasionally leaves me feeling like we have failed something that hasn’t begun. But it will begin and Ogden is going to love our production studio. I feel faithful to the original ideas through and it has been miraculous how the money, time, and resources have fit and happened. Despite that, I am at that point in creating the studio where all woman who have given birth have been, in transition. I am that creator that wants to go home to avoid the demand of the delivery, that ring of fire edges closer. Anyone who wants to do big shit has to deal with the contrast of opposition. It’s weird in fact, and I have so many stories to share at some point, provided that I can fight my imposter syndrome back enough to get through writing this one-off post so that I can write the next one. My break this morning came in the form of seeing myself a few steps ahead, all having turned out to be the ennobling canvas we hope it will be for not only ourselves but for other people willing to brave the comical terror of delivery and creation.


I started to read “The River”, from Gary Paulsen’s Hachet series to the kids and it is so beautifully written. I wonder if I will ever be the writer I want to be.

I am still reading Women Who Run with Wolves (it is so dense and resets my soul course making it hard to read at a normal pace).

I am also reading Hold Still by Sally Mann.


Made Mandy’s Shepards Pie which reminds me, I’ve been vegan for 3 years now. I still want some moose meat in Newfoundland though.

Laughed About

TV dinners, marketing


I love being with my children while they are in the process of discovery. The frustrated loping of laces, the goose egg first steps, the triumph of speaking bravely, the depths that come as they (and us with them) learn to sit in pain or say goodbye. They grow to face questions and realities that so often don't have formulaic answers and it is a gift to sit in what we don’t know to develop what we do.

Dotter and her class are reading, "The Watsons Go to Birmingham" and this evening, after dinner, she came to me with her hand on her heart,

"Mom, no one in my class is racist! Today we read about Martin Luther King getting shot and everyone was so sad."

Her experience is complicated with firsts! To feel sorrow and shock as bonding preteen peers, to learn about the heaviness of the ongoing civil rights movement, to examine what it means to be white, to learn about art, race, war, politics, abuse, sexism, love, equality, hatred, forgiveness- these are all necessary and sensitive topics. But to feel that no on is racist is a hopeful and harrowing thing.